Welcome

[thenavneet]

How about a list of most sucky to least sucky

[parvati]

That's like judging a beauty contest for women with mustaches.

[parvati]

I've never understood why people argue with me when I'm blatantly trolling. It's like the rock thing, only in reverse. "Parvati, you salty bitch." Well, yes, I am a salty bitch. Was there anybody who wasn't aware of that? Congratulations on correctly noticing my character dynamic, you keen-eyed observer of the obvious, you.

[parvati]

smh @ the idea of Michael beating me again. When will people learn to stop dragging him through the premerge and just let him die?

[thenavneet]

Aug 27, 2015 22:28:04 GMT parvati said:

smh @ the idea of Michael beating me again. When will people learn to stop dragging him through the premerge and just let him die?

As in Mikey?

[parvati]

As in Natalie Anderson from Twisted 3, Host Tasha from Warriors. She has an addiction to showing up to fights that other people are having to post some random-ass gif or video, in a disgusting "hur hur look at me being so funny and clever in this drama situation" sort of way.

[parvati]

And now it's time for Pointless Conversations With Parvati, the show where players abuse the lack of a rule against talking to jurors after they're voted out to try and pointlessly suck up to me. 

Before we start mocking the unfortunate, I just want to extend special props to both Erik Huffman and Shirin Oskooi for their stellar job during the actual tribal council itself. I asked both of them not to vote for me, and their response was literally to run away from the conversation and stop responding. Great job, guys! You sure did avoid that tricky issue with grace and class.

Shirin gets extra props for trying to start another conversation with me the next day while I was clearly offline. I have literally no idea what she would have wanted to talk about, since I was already fucked at that point and she would have taken ten years to respond to anything I said anyway. She'd probably have tried lying to me, if the round Spencer left is any guide. Erik told me that Spencer was leaving and the votes were already there to send him home, and then like two hours later Shirin showed up to awkwardly pretend she had no idea what was happening. I blatantly told her who her alliance was and how they were voting, which threw her off her stride a bit, but she rallied magnificently to pretend she had no idea what would happen that night before abruptly leaving the conversation to mop her sweaty fat folds. Then after Spencer actually left she tried apologizing for "deceiving" me. It was just... sad. 

But, the main event. Runner-Up for Stupidest Conversation goes to our very own Erik Huffman, for his incredibly delayed response to me asking why Beauty was being targeted:

imfeelinrusty
Probably because it seems like all of you are eager to jump ship sometimes. 

Parvati Shallow
Yeah, I can see how that'd be more threatening than a group of people who are tight with each other and don't want to jump ship.

(Note: Seriously... dafuq. I sure hope he's lying, because that reason is incredibly stupid.) 

Parvati Shallow
Anyways have fun with the group of people you can't control who make you vote out people you like against your will. I'd say I'm rooting for you but tbh I'm hoping a meteor hits and everybody dies instead. 

imfeelinrusty
I have my reasons. I hope we can catch up if I join you.

Parvati Shallow
I'm sure you do. I can very much wait to hear them. Mild amounts of luck, and I'm sure we'll catch up by default because we'll be the only two jurors blessed with the capacity for human speech. Peace.

imfeelinrusty
Hahaha. I'll try to keep you entertained with whatever side of the jury that I'm on

Parvati Shallow
Well I'm sure as fuck not entertained now. Bunch of invisible bitches trying to say goodbye like it's some big sad thing for them.

imfeelinrusty
Lol I'm just letting other people take off and crash and burn right now. I'll miss talking with you, but people were set on you so I went with them. I hate pagongings, so I'll try and keep it interesting.

Parvati Shallow
Well if people can make you do stuff you don't wanna do I'ma vote for people in the finale. Js

imfeelinrusty
Oh no, I understand that. But I know that people are going to be reaching as far as possible to grab the game when they should realistically grab just in front of their face. It's going to happen and you'd better believe I will take advantage of every misstep people make. 

Parvati Shallow
I don't really believe it, mostly because you've been incredibly dickless up to this point. But hey knock yourself out.

I love that here Erik's repeatedly trying to paint himself as some inspiring underdog who will totally rise up and avenge me, when in reality I give zero shits about him or how well he does. I respect people who were like, "Fuck you Parv, I want you gone" much more than the cowards who were all "Uggh I like you so much but I can't stop this from happening." I'd vote for literally any of his sheep over him, even Natalie. 

But the grand prize winner for having the most pointless conversation with me in the wake of my exit goes to none other than Alex Angarita, which is interesting because it's the first time he won a conversation without arbitrarily declaring himself the victor. 

Alex Dickface
Nooo </3

Alex Dickface
I almost kept you in too
I almost got you kept in**

(Note: This is complete horseshit. Alex was selling us out the entire time.) 

Parvati Shallow
Then why the fuck didn't you?
Ass.

Alex Angarita
I tried
I even voted with yall

Parvati Shallow
Lol okay then. As I heard it you were chatting it up with brains to make sure I went

Alex Angarita
We did

Parvati Shallow
So what's your point? You want a cookie for almost successfully stopping yourself from fucking me over? 

Parvati Shallow
I mean, sadly, I'd still give you one because it's less fucking stupid than most of the shit I've had to hear in the past twelve hours. 
But still. 

At this point Alex ran away, because apparently it hadn't occurred to him that trying to take credit for saving me when he actively helped vote me out was probably not the smoothest plan. I'm sure he's already written a confessional congratulating himself for completely pwning me in that argument. 

[parvati]

Aug 27, 2015 6:52:43 GMT parvati said:

Guesses for the challenge because I'm bored:

1. Ryan Opray and Courtney Yates
2. Lisi Linares and Rafe Judkins
3. Ethan Zohn and Sarita White
4. Elisabeth Filarski and Michael Jefferson
5. Kelly Czarnecki and Brian Heidik
6. Becky Lee and Woo Hawng
7. Jonathan Penner and Silas Gaither
8. Gary Stritesky and Cirie Fields
9. JT Thomas and Natalie Tenerelli
10. Brian Heidik and Kelly Bruno
11. Austin Carty and Gretchen Cordy
12. Jon Misch and Mikayla Wingle
13. Ashley Trainer and Aaron Reisberger
14. Pete Yurkowski and Jenna Morasca

DAMN, I had 25 points and would totally have won that. 

[Host Julie]

Welcome your good friend Alex

[DorlM]

At this point Alex ran away, because apparently it hadn't occurred to him that trying to take credit for saving me when he actively helped vote me out was probably not the smoothest plan. I'm sure he's already written a confessional congratulating himself for completely pwning me in that argument.


Just clarifying, not intending to force an argument.

My phone died at that point, so I couldn't respond. When I got home, it didn't seem important enough to respond anyhow as I'd get a pointless response for a pointless mentioning.

I did not actively help vote you out, I was intentionally steering it towards Mike and went as far as voting for Ciera with y'all.

And I wrote like one confessional all game. Too lazy to write more.

[parvati]

Eh, my mistake. I write mockery for entertainment, I make assumptions. Giving a fuck if the things I say are accurate is so Season One me.

Anyway, thanks for trying. Sucks that this cast has such a hateboner for people who actually have personality. If we wind up with a Mike/Shirin/Natalie/Ciera/Colby final five I'm just going to self-vote in the finale.

[parvati]

The name of the challenge is "Keep It Up." Guess we know Erik won't be winning.

[parvati]

Aug 29, 2015 4:08:46 GMT colby said:

I know I'm gone soon but Rodney your a fake lying ass. Not sure how many fucking deals you had but nice to know your deal about going all the way with me was fake. You just played up a friendship to put me on the jury. I'll be on the jury but it won't be voting you to win.

Oh no! Poor Colby! IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED HIM that Brains tribe were working together and would totally fuck up the whole game if we didn't take them out immediately, this might never be happening! 

[DorlM]

This is turning into Worlds Apart... sucky players in the end...

[parvati]

Sad part is it's pretty much all sucky players by this point and we aren't even anywhere near the end yet...